Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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