Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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