You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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