everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
