he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
