I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
