Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Panties = found
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
