yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
