you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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