Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
