Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize