that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
