if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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