Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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