He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
