at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I want her autograph on my taint
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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