uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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