i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize