at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
