I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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