hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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