Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
