Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
