Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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