I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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