At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
