ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my shit smells like andre
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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