Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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