Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
