is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
