Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
