hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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