i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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