Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
