I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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