she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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