id be glad to
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
