Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
