Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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