When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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