Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
