last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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