Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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