Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize