I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
3 2 1 whiskey
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
