Already got asked if we're dating
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
