I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize