I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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