tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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