All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
