The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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