All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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