Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
