She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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