Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
