yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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