i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
