I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
