Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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