also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".