I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
