i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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