Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
