their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
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who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
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I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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