I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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