this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
40s are totally the cure
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
