Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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